One of my favorite things to do when I was a child, maybe 7 or 8 years old, was to pull my dad's recliner out onto the covered porch while it was raining. I would sit in his recliner, eat triscuits and just watch the rain fall, taking in the smell and the feel and the sounds that rain brought with it.
I'm sitting on my patio again this morning in my patio chair instead of my dad's recliner. I have no triscuits, and my porch railing is blocking my view of the rain and the drops hitting the ground. I am enclosed on three sides so that limits the smell and the feel of the humid, wet air on my skin. I can however hear the wind and see it blow flags straight and cause the flag ropes to rattle against the flag poles. The overbearing sound I hear this morning though is of Dallas traffic. It's still somewhat peaceful between sounds of diesel trucks and speeding cars and honking horns. That time in between each passing vehicle.
My experience this morning, sitting outside on the patio with everything going on around me leads me to reflect on my life with Christ in a new way. You see, here lately, I feel like my life has been nothing but traffic, non-stop Dallas highway traffic. It has been by my own choosing, of course, so don't feel sorry for me, however, I am realizing that even in the situations I am in, I still have another choice besides running to a more peaceful place...I can choose to be at peace even in the chaotic traffic. I can choose to see and hear and feel God's presence around me. Right now, even though there is a lot of traffic, there may be 2 seconds in between vehicles, or like just a moment ago, there may be 20 or 30 seconds between vehicles. Either way, it's the time between the traffic that makes it easier to hear the rain and the wind. I think that's a lot like what it is with God. We have so much crap in our head and in our lives that we don't have that margin between vehicles. The margin is that time in-between one to-do, or thought, or task, or phone call, or email, or facebook, or distraction. Margin is the time in between your mind being busy and being able to focus on the blessings and will of God. Now, if you are in practice I believe you can have enough spiritual margin in your life so that you reflect constantly on God, even in the midst of all the traffic, but for those of us that are out of practice, experiencing God outside of the margin is not very easy. Heck, truth be told, experiencing God within the margin even feels taxing and even non-existent some time.
I best commune with God when I am purposeful with my time about getting together with him. Whether it be during lunch, or my drive home, or on my patio. Why don't I do it more often? Why don't I do it daily? I don't know...I suppose I let the traffic of life distract me. I suppose the real reason I don't do it more often is because I don't really want to do what I'm afraid God is going to tell me to do. Not fearful necessarily, but being lazy. Being obedient takes energy. It takes movement and focus and determination and drive. It takes courage!
I suppose by choosing not to listen, I'm also choosing not to be courageous. You know, I'm reading some stuff and listening to some things that are making me realize my life is not very engaging, but it's mostly because I am choosing not to engage it. I am choosing to get lost in reality in front of the TV, or in front of a movie. It's easier to hope for a change and daydream about change, than it is to enact change. My headline actually says it here on my blog: What the world needs is people who believe so much in another world that they cannot help but begin enacting it now. I want to be that person. I dream of being that person. I hope to become that person. Therefore, I must be courageous and actually take steps to bring that to reality. I'm still looking for me inciting incident though, and I'm not sure there HAS to be one of those, but I think it helps...well, I know it helps in my situation, but I also know that it shouldn't be required for change to take place. Change should take place because God directs it, and I desire to please my Father. So, Lord, I am choosing today, right now, to be obedient!
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