Spiritual Bulimia

I'm reading a book right now that is really hitting home for me. I mean, I am reading inside of this book about feelings I have had for 4, 5 even 6 years now, but I have never put into words, never thought them through. It is such an awesome feeling. I'm going to quote out of the book here in just a second, but let set this up first. Well... on second thought, I'll talk about it after this quote from the book.

Previous to this quote he is talking about becoming a believer and people telling him what Christians believed, but not teaching him how Christians live.

The Irresistible Revolution, Shane Claiborne, Pg 39
"So as we do in our culture, I thought perhaps I needed to buy more stuff, Christian stuff. Luckily, I found an entire Christian industrial complex ready to help with Christian music, bumper stickers, T0shirts, books, and even candy..... They had lists of bands and the Christian alternatives to them, so I got rid of all my old CDs. (And I must confess, I was a bit disappointed by the Christian counterfeit. Who could compare to Guns N' Roses and Vanilla Ice?) And I bought books, devotionals, T-shirts. I developed a common illness that haunts Western Christianity. I call it spiritual bulimia. Bulimia, of course, is a tragic eating disorder, largely linked to identity and image, where folks consume large amounts of food but vomit it up before it has a chance to digest. I developed the spiritual form of it where I did my devotions, read all the new Christian books and saw the Christian movies, and then vomited information up to friends, small groups, and pastors. But it had never had the chance to digest. I had gorged myself on all the products of the Christian industrial complex but was spiritually starving to death. I was marked by an overconsumptive but malnourished spirituality, suffocated by Christianity but thirsty for God."

This is exactly what I feel like I have done until the last couple of months. I feel like I have only regurgitated other peoples beliefs to my friends and families through conversations, etc. I don't feel like I knew what I believed or why. I know that I believed, but I just didn't know on my own terms, I knew, because it made sense. The problem was, I wasn't living my faith. I didn't have a chance to live my faith, I was living the faith of the authors that I was reading, or I was living the faith I was taught in church, or talked about with my friends, not because it was my faith, but simply because that was what Christians did, they regurgitated information to each other and passed it down the line so that everyone can be the good little Christian.

Guess what, I am believing now and living MY faith now, for probably the very first time in my life. There are people who don't get it, there are people who wonder what the heck I am doing, and there are people who are right where I am. I love it. Don't get me wrong, I don't have it figured out by any means, but I have a faith that is coming alive.

To drink, or not to drink, that is the question!

Wow, I'm not sure I even want to open up this topic, but it's got to start somewhere, so..... here it goes.

I am really going through some inner turmoil right now, seeking God and praying about having a drink every once in a while.  Is it bad?  Is it good?  Does it matter?  Is it a "bad witness"?  I think the answer may be yes to each of these, just as easy as it is no to each of these.  

I've really been reading and praying over 1 Cor 8 the last few days and I do believe I'm seeing that topic in a new light.  For some reason, call me weird, I always thought that chapter was about not causing someone with an issue to fall back into an issue, (i.e., me having a drink, causing someone who is an alcoholic to think it's ok to have a drink, etc.)  Of course, it may be ok for me, but not ok for them, that's up to God, but I believe what's being said is that if it could cause offense or confusion, or any doubt among the people who see it, then I probably shouldn't be doing it.  Not because it (the drink) is wrong for me, but simply because it may impeded someone's relationship with Christ.  I'm not a theologian, in fact, I barely read my bible sometimes, in fact, I probably read other books much more than the bible, anyway, back to topic.  

I don't have a problem having a beer with a pizza, or having a margarita at Chili's over dinner, or having wine at Olive Garden, etc. I don't think it's right to do in front of anyone that does have an issue with it either, though, even though I have freedom in that.  Of course, that's a totally different issue, freedom in Christ, and that whole new "movement".  Not saying it's good or bad, again, trying to figure out what I believe.   I'm just looking to solidify my values/beliefs about alcohol.  

I would love to hear some thoughts on this.